And whatever translation of the precept you follow, whether it is completely refraining, or consumption without drunkenness, my best wishes to you, your friends, and family.
Had a nice time at the beach today with the little man. We were building sandcastles close to the water so we could watch the water come in and quickly wash them away. Seemed like a good time to discus impermanence.
“Can you think of anything that lasts forever and doesn’t change?”
“Sand, no. Water, no. Plastic, no. There isn’t anything that lasts forever without changing.”
“true”
And so we waited for the water to come in and wash away the sandcastle.
Of course, if impermanence does not happen quick enough, an 8 year old boy can act like Godzilla and help it along.
This evening Ian let me know he wanted to sit with me. Admittedly, I am always excited when he decides he wants to try so we went right in after he brushed his teeth.
First, he decided to almost quit because he wanted to sit in his room, not where I usually sit. So, we moved the cushions to his room.
Next, he decided he would rather stick his tongue out at me while we sat. No big deal, just keep my eyes out of focus and let that pass as one does with the thoughts racing through your mind during meditation. (and of course, don’t crack up – because the little goofball is funny)
Next, he decided to get up and lay in bed; that he was finished sitting with Daddy. No big deal, we’ll try again when he’s ready to try again.
All of this gave me things to work with during my sit. I am always so excited when he wants to sit; don’t let my ego make him sit with me – he will when he is ready. Don’t attach to disappointment when he decides tonight isn’t the night to sit, just let it be.
I continued sitting, working with all of this, working in the present moment. Really, isn’t that the point?
The little goofball ended up fast asleep by the time I’d finished so I went to tuck him in. He must’ve been very tired as you could hear his breath. A sound I would rather listen to over any chanting I’ve ever heard… hearing your child laughing, or sleeping soundly is the most wondrous sutra there is.
Tonight was quite the night. It started off really well, we had dinner, then went out to play some Frisbee. Then it happened…. the meltdown.We ran the gambit of it all, from him crying, to yelling, to getting a couple little spankings, to calmly talking about what he was freaking out about. (Yes, calm worked the best, mindful I take that approach quicker next time.) Once we talked it out he had a quick shower and calmed down.
Afterwards, you could see that he was remorseful for his actions, but as a parent I felt it was better not to dwell on that, but to use it as an opportunity to grow.
So I asked, do you want to know what helps me stay calm?
Sure Daddy.
I sit. Do you want to try again to sit like Buddha?
Yes, I do.
So we go in the room and sit on pillows facing one another. I talk him through sitting down, straightening his back and neck like he’s holding up the ceiling with the top of his head, cross his legs, fold his hands, and we talk about breathing.
When you get a thought, let it come and go without attaching to it.
Why?
We are working on a clear mind. Thoughts will always come and go, but right now we’re working to calm your mind.
OK.
And we sit. He asks this; and I nod my answer. He asks that; I nod my answer. He asks something else; I smile and give a little motion to quiet. He looks here, there, and all around. Then you can see the tension go; it releases from him and you can see it.
He’s quiet for a while, just sitting. It’s been about ten minutes at this point. I calmly ask him, how is it?
Good Daddy.
And I tuck him in bed the for night. Calm. Hopeful I taught him half as much as he taught me.
I’ve finally been able to make time to post our pictures from the Vesak celebration. We had a wonderful time and I was very happy Dawn was able to come with us this year. Another highlight of the day was seeing the wonderful, and always smiling Rev. Danny Fisher who immediately asked how our friend Bill in Chicago was doing. Made me smile ear to ear to be able to report the good news about Bill.
According to Richard Cizik, president of the New Evangelical Partnership for the Common Good, which helped to pay for the ad, “Being consistently pro-life requires more than caring for the unborn, it requires following the Biblical call to care for the poor and the downtrodden.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a big fan of Stephen Prothero’s outlook (or, at least the little I’ve heard). I’ve not read his book, “”God is Not One: The Eight Rival Religions that Run the World,” but from all the excerpts that are touted around the internet, I think it is rather the opposite of a useful outlook on things. But, enough about the disagreements.
I have to agree with his sentiments in this article. It is definitely worth a read.
The main shrine, beautifully decorated.
Making a wish for the New Year.
Year of the Dragon
Heavenly Blessings and Protection – Venerable Master Hsing Yun (me standing next to a blessing from Master)
Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva on Dragon
Venerable Hsin Ting and Ian. We were very fortunate to see Venerable while he is visiting from Fo Guang Shan.
